 |
 |
Family History, Genealogy and Ancestor Humor
Link To This Page — Contact Us —
Genealogy humor – fun genealogy jokes, genealogy quotes, genealogy anecdotes and humor for genealogists.
- ***QUARANTINED***GENEALOGY FEVER***INCURABLE***
- A great many family trees were started by grafting.
- A miser is hard to live with, but makes a great ancestor.
- A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.
- A Step backwards is Progress to a Genealogist.
- Add to your Genealogy the fun, easy way, Have Grand Children!
- After 30 days any unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
- Alright! Everybody out of the genetic pool!
- Always willing to share my ignorance…
- Am I the only person up my tree? Seems like it.
- Ancestors were just people…
- Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples.
- At last a chance to make my skeletons dance!
- Beware of the Genealogy Bug; It’s bite can be addictive!
- Biochemists wear designer genes.
- C A U T I O N ! … You have now entered the Genealogy Zone.
- Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
- Cemetery: (n) A marble orchard not to be taken for granite.
- Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree.
- Cousins marrying cousins: VERY tangled roots!
- Crazy…. is a relative term in MY family.
- Cussin: what genealogists do when they can’t find one.
- Damn! My family tree was just wood-chipped.
- Death is just nature’s way of dropping carrier.
- Do I even WANT ancestors? Some I found I wish I could lose.
- Do I hear the rattle of chains?
- Do I need a Genealogical Search Warrant to see the records?
- Documentation….The is the hardest part of genealogy.
- Don’t judge me by my relatives, I didn’t choose them!
- Don’t sit under the family tree with anyone else but me!
- Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
- Ever stop to think… and forget to start again?
- Every family tree has some sap in it.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- Evolution is God’s way of issuing updates.
- Family history: a quilt work of lives.
- FLOOR: (n) The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
- Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
- Gene Police! You! **Out of the pool!**
- Gene-Allergy - It’s a contagious disease, but I love it!
- Genealogist caught trying to chop down family tree! — Film at 11!
- Genealogists are like monkeys, always in the trees.
- Genealogists are time unravelers.
- Genealogists diet: “Fiche and Ships topped with tantalizing Sources”!
- Genealogists do it for the memories!
- Genealogists do it generation after generation.
- Genealogists do it in the library.
- Genealogists do it off the record.
- Genealogists do it with a computer.
- Genealogist’s Hunting Season never ends!
- Genealogists live in the past lane.
- Genealogists never die, they just get filed away.
- Genealogists never die, they just haunt archives.
- Genealogists never die, they just loose their roots.
- Genealogists never lose their jobs, they just go to another branch!
- Genealogists should also consider the handsome neighbor…
- Genealogists: People helping people…..that’s what it’s all about!
- Genealogists: Time unravelers.
- Genealogy - a search for the greatest treasures - our ancestors.
- Genealogy - it’s only an obsession after all!
- Genealogy goes on… and on… and on…
- Genealogy in the buff, no…. I mean I’m a genealogy Buff!
- Genealogy is contagious - seldom fatal!
- Genealogy is great when you score!
- Genealogy is in my genes!
- Genealogy is like Hide & Seek: They Hide &…. I Seek!
- Genealogy is my hobby. I collect ancestors & descendants.
- Genealogy is not a hobby, it’s a disease!
- Genealogy is the only hobby where dead people can really excite you.
- Genealogy is T-R-E-E-rific!
- Genealogy…it’s not a hobby, it’s an obsession.
- Genealogy: A hay stack full of needles. It’s the threads I need.
- Genealogy: A search for the greatest treasures, our ancestore.
- Genealogy: Better than the best adventure game and as frustrating.
- Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
- Genealogy: Collecting dead relatives and sometimes a live cousin!
- Genealogy: It’s all relative in the end anyway.
- Genealogy: It’s only an obsession after all!
- Genealogy: Looking for needles in haystacks.
- Genealogy: People collecting people!
- Genealogy: Search long enough and EVERYONE connects somehow.
- Genealogy: The marriage of a jigsaw puzzle to a dungeon & dragons game.
- Genealogy: Tracing descent from someone who didn’t.
- Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
- Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
- Ghosts are merely unsubstantiated roomers.
- Give me your tired, your poor … they’re genealogists!
- God gave us relatives, luckily we can choose our friends!
- God! What a mess this family’s in.
- Having children is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have you you probably won’t either!
- He ain’t heavy–He’s my brother’s aunt’s sister’s husband.
- He who dies with the most ancestors wins!
- Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
- Hi Ho! Hi Ho! Now where did my ancestors go?
- Hooked on Genealogy works for me!
- How can just one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE ??
- Hunting season is all year long in genealogy.
- I am NOT illiterate! My parents WERE SO MARRIED!!
- I checked out my family tree. Just as I thought… poison ivy!
- I collect dead relatives and sometimes a live cousin!
- I finally got it all together. Now where did I put it?
- I found a cuckoo’s nest in my family tree.
- I looked at my family tree…there were two dogs using it.
- I never steal taglines - I’m a genealogist - I just adopt them.
- I only work on Genealogy on days that end in “Y”.
- I researched my family tree… apparently I don’t exist!
- I shook my family tree, a bunch of nuts fell out.
- I should have asked them BEFORE they died!
- I think my ancestors had several “bad heir” days.
- I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.
- I think that I shall never see a completed Genealogy!
- I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.
- I used to have a life, then I started doing genealogy.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…. not screaming and yelling like the passangers in his car…
- I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.
- I wonder if a “Missing Persons Bulletin” would locate my g-g-grandpa?
- I’d love to, but I’m converting from Julian to Gregorian!
- I’d rather look for dead people than have ‘em look for me.
- If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
- If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton - George Bernard Shaw
- If your family tree doesn’t fork, you might be a redneck.
- I’m always late. My ancestors must have arrived on the Juneflower.
- I’m no genealogist. … Until this year I spelled it “GeneOlogist!”
- I’m not crazy, but I may have lost my census!
- I’m not sick, I’ve just got fading genes.
- I’m not stuck, I’m ancestrally challenged.
- I’m searching for myself; have you seen me?
- I’m stuck in my family tree, and I can’t get down.
- In MY family…. CRAZY is a relative term!
- Is your family tree evergreen or deciduous?
- Isn’t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem, leads to a dozen more!
- It is hereditary in my family not to have children.
- It’s 1999. Do you know where your great-grandparents were?
- It’s a poor family that hath neither a whore or a thief.
- It’s hard to be humble with ancestors like mine!
- It’s hard to believe that someday I’ll be an ancestor.
- I’ve fallen into my family tree and I can’t get out!
- I’ve got YOUR family tree all staked out!!
- Jeanealogy: the study of LEVIS and WRANGLERS.
- Just when you think you’ve found them all, up pops another!
- Kinship: it`s all relative!
- Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!
- Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
- Life is too short and you’re dead too long.
- Life takes it’s toll. Have exact change ready!
- Life, liberty and the right to know who your ancestors are.
- Live so the preacher won’t have to lie at your funeral!
- Looking for needles in haystacks.
- Many a family tree needs trimming.
- Marriage is….. breeding in captivity!!
- May all your family trees branch toward the stars!
- May the Saint of Genealogists Bless You!
- May you ask the right question of the right person at the right time.
- Misers are hard to live with but they make great ancestors.
- Most of my family roots are underground.
- My ancestors are Copyrighted. You have my permission to use the data.
- My ancestors did WHAT?!?
- My family came on the Mayflower…or was it Allied?
- My family tree died in the last drought.
- My family tree is a few branches short! Help appreciated.
- My family tree is full of NOT holes… it’s NOT him, it’s NOT her!!!
- My family tree is in the forest, somewhere!
- My family tree is lost in the forest.
- My family tree keeps leaning to the east!!
- My family tree must have been used for firewood.
- My genes are so tight, they may stay with me forever.
- My hobby is genealogy,, and I raise dust bunnies as pets.
- My life has become one large Gedcom!!
- My problems are all relative.
- My roots only go down so far, but my branches spread forever!
- No - yes - maybe - could be - perhaps. Musings of a genealogist.
- Not tonight dear, I just got the new versions of MG & FTM!
- Nothing ventured, nothing gained, no one found!
- Okay, so I don’t descend from anyone… now what?
- Old genealogists never die, they just haunt cemeteries.
- Old genealogists never die, they just lose their census.
- Old Genealogists never die. They just haunt Archives.
- Olly, olly, oxen free! All hiding ancestors can come out NOW!
- Once I gave up on reality, I had so many more options.
- One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness, it is usually returned!
- Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.
- Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
- Others work from sun to sun! But a genealogists work is never done!!
- RELATIVES…People who come to dinner who aren’t friends.
- Remember, undocumented genealogy is mythology.
- Research: What I’m doing, when I don’t know what I’m doing.
- Researching [YOUR NAME] anytime, anywhere, any takers?
- Searching for lost relatives? Win the Lottery!
- Searching for roots beats chasing dust bunnies!
- Searching shipping records? Simply naval gazing.
- Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
- Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality.
- Sharing genealogy is a rewarding experience!
- Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet…I’m hunting forebearers.
- Sign of a redneck: circular family tree.
- Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
- Snoopers welcome! Feel free to provide comments and relatives!
- So many ancestors…so little time!
- So many dead men! So little time!
- Someday YOU’LL be an ancestor too!
- Sometimes you find an ancestor hanging from the family tree!
- Still trying to decorate my family tree.
- Sure, a real job would be nice, but it would interfere with my genealogy!
- Take nothing but ancestors, leave nothing but records.
- That’s strange; half my ancestors are WOMEN!
- That’s the problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard.
- The black sheep keeps the best info on the family.
- The fellow who leans on his family tree may never get out of the woods.
- Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we’re all related.
- There are no answers, only cross-references.
- There is no fire, officer! I’m just chasing my ancestors!
- There is no such thing as a useless piece of information.
- There is strength them there Roots.
- They’ve said *you* are the fertilizer of your family tree!
- Time and Genealogy waits for no man.
- To a genealogist, EVERYTHING is relative!
- Trees without roots fall over.
- Try genealogy. You can’t get fired and you can’t quit!
- Warning!! There are no lifeguards in the gene pool!
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then it gets worse.
- We shall find no ancestor before his time.
- We shall gather at the river (or the genealogy library if it rains).
- What do you mean my “grandparents didn’t have any kids”?
- What do you mean my Birth Certificate expired?
- What have you done with my ancestors’ papers??
- When I searched for ancestors, I found friends!
- When marriage is outlawed only outlaws will have inlaws.
- When tracing ancestors, please stay within the lines!
- When you marry, your family tree can become a forest.
- When your mind goes blank, don’t forget to turn off the sound!
- Whoever said “seek and ye shall find” was NOT a genealogist.
- Who’s in charge of washing the Family Group Sheets?
- Why are there so many gnarled limbs on my family tree?
- With MY luck, my family tree has root-rot!
- Yikes! My genes are faded and full of holes!
- Your genealogy is never done!!
